I really need to check myself before I get arrested. Or punched.
While its clear to anyone that has read about my various "sightings" that my unhealthy obsession with porn stars walks the line of stalker-dom, I did something kind of creepy the other day--even for me.
I was waiting for the subway, not thinking about porn at all. Well, maybe I was--I usually am. As the train pulled into the station and stopped, who's brutish gaze do I see through the window but good old Jim Ferro. Instantly atwitter with tingly feelings, I skulked into the subway car on the semi-crowded train and looked his way. There was an open seat next to him. It was one of those "half seats" where theres barely enough room to sit, but without thinking twice, I zoom in and insert myself next to him. Since it was a tight fit, I end up shoulder to shoulder with him. And some chick on the other side, but who cares about her?
Then what do I do? Do I ask him for his autograph? Complement him on his astonishing body? No, I just sit there and semi-frottage him on the 6 train while looking straight ahead like I didn't know who he was. Feeling the warmth of his thigh against mine, sneaking peeks at his gruff cheeks and enormous hands....
It even grosses me out. I might as well have had a hand in my overcoat. Luckily before I had a chance to embarrass myself further, he got off the train. And I must say the sight of his bubble ass straining against his sweat pants as he fled walked away was worth the lingering dirty feeling I am experiencing now.